We were brought to blow fairy tales, and have developed a deep admiration for these beautiful princesses who live a wonderful life (albeit after experiencing some disappointments, but we forgot that little detail!). Our parents, our teachers have given us we had to be nice girls, set to be wise and not to do anything stupid, and that was the price that we would be girls “adorable” is -to say, worthy of being loved.
We have learned the lesson well, and over the years we have developed what I call a “fantasy of perfection” we want to control everything in our lives, so that everything is perfect and going according to plans. This fantasy is the source of many misfortunes since each has unfortunately we could find that we can not control everything, and there are many moments in our lives when things seem to escape.
It is important to achieve the happiness we seek so much to detach ourselves from the weight that represents this fantasy. Here’s why:
– This is a huge pressure on our environment, we want everything to be perfect, starting with our husbands, our children. We are extremely demanding of them, just as we are towards us. We must free them from this unconscious pressure, and let them show what they are really inside them.
– It prevents you to adapt, and accept what life sends us the fantasy of perfection implies that when things do not go as planned when a problem arises, we spend a lot of time railing against the unfairness of life, trying to understand why this happens to us. Want to understand why we absorb a lot of energy, and we sometimes have more to ask the only question worth the effort: how do I get stronger from this situation? What did I learn from this?
– It is a poison for self-esteem: to be obsessed with perfection, we remain focused on our imperfections, what we call our shortcomings. We forget completely focus on our strengths, and thus remains completely blind to our true value.
Perfection is not of this world: therefore we will never be perfect, neither you nor me. We have to accept this reality because there is none other. Out of the fantasy of perfection is the key to not live in constant frustration, and to be able to open up to gratitude from being that we are.
By Nathalie Martin